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About the Author

This week we feature something very special! For Easter, we asked two Holy Cross alums to share their thoughts: Tom Ryan, '76 and Mary Beth Ryan, '05. Not only are they both graduates of Holy Cross - they are also father and daughter.

Tom Ryan '76 is Vice-President of Institutional Advancement at Assumption College. Tom has long been involved in alumni/ae activities at Holy Cross and is looking forward to greeting many of his classmates back on Mt. St. James at their 30th reunion in June. He and his wife Patti have two children: Marybeth '05 and Peter.

Mary Beth Ryan '05 last "wrote" for Holy Cross when she delivered the valedictory address at her graduation last May. She currently teaches at Nativity Prep School in New Bedford, MA.

Thinking Out Loud - Mary Beth Ryan '05

Graduation from Holy Cross last May marked a bittersweet time in my life, as I'm sure it did for many Holy Cross alumni over the years. The "sweet" part hit almost immediately. I was thrilled to be finished with classes, papers, and exams. I was excited to embark on new adventures and to meet new people. Of course, I was sad to leave behind my friends, teammates, and the people who helped shape me during my college years. However, I was ready. I was ready to leave the hill and begin teaching at Nativity Prep School in New Bedford. I thought I was prepared to change the world and I was convinced that this euphoric feeling would last forever.

The "bitter" part of graduation came on much more gradually. Throughout the summer, my friends and I kept in touch on a weekly basis, filling each other in on our new jobs, apartments, and friends, and remembering the "good old days" at HC where we had the time and the luxury to hang out all the time. By October, however, the novelties of my life began to wear off, and my new routine became less glorified. At times, teaching seemed tiresome and even frustrating. I missed my friends. Everyone was busy, sometimes even too busy or tired to chat on the phone or send an email (myself included). Keeping in touch wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I was lonely.

It was then that I realized that graduating from Holy Cross changed more than just where I lived and what I did all day. It also changed my spirituality in a colossal way. During my four years at Holy Cross, my faith blossomed and grew into my own. I developed a personal relationship with God, and I was able to nurture this relationship within a community of students, priests, and mentors, who shared my beliefs and values. Like Jesus who teaches and guides his disciples, forming a close-knit community among them, Holy Cross was my teacher. Upon graduation and in the months that followed, I began to feel the way the disciples must have felt when Jesus was crucified. Their teacher, role model, and advisor, was suddenly gone. Their community began to disintegrate without Jesus there, welding the members together, and reminding them of their shared faith. Similarly, I have lost touch with my friends and my own spirituality. I still go to church every Sunday, but it's not the same. I constantly find myself thinking about Mass at Holy Cross and praying the way I did when I was there. I crave dinners at Campion House, not only for the delicious food, but also for the enlightening spiritual discourse.

Following the crucifixion, the disciples also found themselves responsible to spread the faith that Jesus had taught them. It was their job to proclaim it to the world. In the same way, I have now become the teacher. During my first few months, I felt completely and utterly lost, as I'm sure many of the disciples felt. I pondered and prayed over questions like: Can I really be trusted with the education of forty-six young boys? Will I know how to handle them? Will they trust me? Although I am not necessarily in charge of teaching religion or spirituality to the students at Nativity Prep, it is my job to serve as an example for them, and to act as a moral guide, confident in my own spirituality, beliefs, and values. Essentially, I must now serve as a disciple, maybe not by spreading messages of faith to the world, but at least by sharing the things that Holy Cross taught me to the forty-six young boys at Nativity Prep.

Easter Sunday marks the resurrection of Jesus. The disciples find themselves overjoyed. Their teacher, role model, and advisor has returned to help them. They are not in fact alone! In the same way, Holy Cross continues to revisit my life, and even the smallest reminders give me that sense of euphoria that I experienced last May: a phone call from a friend in New York City, letters from friends in Ecuador and Korea, a birthday phone call from a friend in China, dinner with a roommate in Fall River, a voice mail message from a spiritual mentor. I, too, am not alone. As the resurrection demonstrates, Jesus is always present. Whenever we feel lonely or lost, we do not have to look far to find him, and he will show us the way back to our faith. The very fact that I was asked to do this reflection serves as a reminder that the teacher never forgets or forsakes the disciple. The resurrection is always close byﾅand so is Holy Cross!

Thinking Out Loud - Tom Ryan '76

When Kim McElaney emailed Mary Beth and me, asking if we'd share reflections on the gospel reading as a father-daughter team, I thought, "That could be neat, but will Mary Beth be open to writing something with her father?" Her immediate and positive reply warmed my heart.

As with Mary Beth, and with so many alumni/ae, my years at Holy Cross were formative ones, especially in terms of my faith. I have frequently told people that I came to HC with the faith of my parents, who provided me with a strong foundation, but during those four years at Holy Cross and the two years that followed in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps, that faith was examined, tested and deepened until it became my own.

We had a wonderful and supportive faith community at Holy Cross. I enjoyed being challenged in the homilies and conversations we had with Fathers Harman, Manning and the great Joe LaBran. I was challenged even further in the classroom during my sophomore year by Fr. Paris in his ethics class - little did I know then that this "simple teacher of religion" would become a friend and mentor for a lifetime. And, I felt the unconditional love of God, during my many conversations with Fr. Hart - the grandfather I never had. So it is a pleasure to write about my faith journey in context with the Easter readings and to play off my daughter's thoughts and experiences.

In her reflections Mary Beth shares a truly insightful connection between the experience of the apostles and our experiences as students at Holy Cross. The apostles spent three years with Jesus, learning from him, developing their faith, and trying to understand all that Jesus was revealing to them. Finally, when Jesus asks them, "But who do you say that I am?" Peter had the strength of faith to respond with conviction "You are the Christ!" It was after this that Jesus could begin to teach them about the Passion and Resurrection. But, they were still students and Jesus was still their master/teacher. That all changed on Easter Sunday. Having experienced the depths of despair on Good Friday and Holy Saturday, they knew the elation of the Resurrection when Mary Magdalene shared the good news with them that Jesus had raised, and now they finally understood all that had been shared with them. Jesus eventually commissioned them to go out and preach to the world - to be examples for others.

After four years at Holy Cross we were commissioned on our Commencement Day to go out into the world and be examples for others. I had the opportunity to continue my faith formation as a Jesuit Volunteer in Philadelphia. I loved my job teaching night school to high school dropouts and working with the children of the neighborhood in an education/recreation program. But at this time 29 years ago I was struggling with the decision on whether to serve a second year. Fortunately the JVC had a retreat scheduled with John Staudenmaier SJ (a Detroit Province Jesuit). Fr. John preached on the passion and resurrection of Christ. During a break time I went for a walk with John and shared my inner turmoil about my decision - at the end I said to him "John you been talking about the crucifixion and resurrection, but when I look around me in Philly, all I see is poverty, children with so many needs, dilapidated housing and the vicious circle of poverty. All I see around me is the crucifixion ... where is the resurrection?"

John paused for a moment and then asked me, "Where was the resurrection in relation to the crucifixion?" My reply was something like right near by. To which he responded, "Then look around you with a new set of eyes and see if you see the resurrection 'right near by.' I think then you will be able to make your decision about a second year."

He was right. When I got back to North Philadelphia, I looked around me and saw the Risen Jesus in the faces and smiles of the children I was helping. I felt His love when I would give a hug to a child and he/she would melt in my arms. I saw the resurrection in the determination of the adults working toward their GED diploma and the appreciation they would express to me and to my future wife Patti, for helping them achieve their goal. I felt it in the support I received from the other members of my JVC community.

My two years in the JVC were followed by 21 wonderful years working at Holy Cross with so many special people, including Fr. Francis Miller, Fr. John Brooks, Fr. George O'Brien, and some great co-workers who shared a passion for helping Holy Cross through our fund-raising efforts. I was blessed to experience 25 years on Mount St. James, and further blessed to see the College through the eyes of a parent when Mary Beth attended Holy Cross. While we may not have traveled the same academic path (fortunately she took after Patti!), we followed the same paths in terms of our spiritual journey and the special friendships we developed.

For those special Holy Cross friendships and for the gifts of family and faith, I give thanks to the Risen Lord this Easter.